The Definition of Resilience


That's what I learned from the biographical Unbroken.    It's the story about Louis Zamperrini a hellion of a child and a menace to society through his early adolescence.  It's the story of an unforeseen Olympian who overcame all odds of survival in WW II and even the fallout of incredible trauma and addiction.  


If you are in need of inspiration in your life right now read this book.  It is the most inspirational book I have ever read.  Not kidding.  


If there weren't eye witnesses it would be deemed fiction.  For, it is too amazing to be considered real.  It is utterly fantastical.  


Yet, for as unbelievable as the events are one does not shrug and say "I could never do that."  There is not a distancing that can usually occur with heroes who seem so other-worldly.  There is something about Zamperini that is accessible.  When reading about his life you hear an invitation and a desire to be like him.  You WANT to be like this guy.  You want to honor his life.  You want to never give up.


This is the perfect book for those in recovery.  

What most sex addicts and addicts in general suffer from is hopelessness:

"It will never get better."

"Things will never change."

"I'll always be stuck in my addiction."

"I'll always be this way."

Addicts feel the odds are stacked against them and that there is no use in trying.  After being beaten down numerous times by the disease the invitation to despair is alluring.    

Never Give Up.  It sounds cliché.   But, it will feel far from cliché after reading Unbroken.  Louis' life will give new meaning to those words.  




Alex Lerza

My goal as a therapist, speaker and writer is to help people experience the gift of sexual and relational wholeness. Currently I work at Christian Counseling Center in San Jose as a Marriage Family Therapist, Intern. Though I come from a place of faith I have treated clients from all creeds and orientations. I completed my Master's degree from Santa Clara University in 2012. Because I felt called to the area of sexual wholeness I became an Associate Sex Addiction Therapist in 2013. However, I quickly learned that trauma is the cause for a significant amount of sexual and relational brokenness so I also became certified in two trauma-reduction therapies--Affect Management Skills Training and Affect Centered Therapy (similar to EMDR). PSYCHOTHERAPIST. Trauma and Sexual Addiction. One of my passions is to help people break free from sexual addiction and heal from trauma. With hundreds of hours of training in trauma and sexual addiction, I provide clients a clear path out of addiction so that they may enjoy healthier relationships and lead more focused lives. Couples. I love helping couples discover the gift of a healthy marriage. I excel at teaching couples how to communicate, how to heal from betrayal and how to deepen their level of passion and intimacy. Teens. Being a teen is tough. I enjoy helping teens who struggle to connect with peers, have questions about identity or want to kick a pornography addiction. I also run a 10 week program for teen guys looking for a band of brothers and accountability with sexual compulsivity. Individuals. I believe that everyone has something to offer the world that no one else can. I hate to see depression or anxiety limit a person's ability to make their special offering come alive. I offer clients the compassion, tools and strategies they need to make their mark and fulfill their personal vision.

Life of the Beloved

Life of the Beloved

Life of the Beloved is probably my favorite book when it comes to recovery and healing.  Most of us who feel broken do so because at the root of our soul is a feeling that we don't belong.  Betrayal, neglect and all forms of abuse embed in our hearts and whisper the message "you are worthless."  It's this bitter root that drains life and which so many try to numb with any and all possible means--sex, food, drugs, power.  

But, we can be creatively life-giving as much as we are creatively life-destroying.  

Nouwen convinces us that deeper than the bitter root is the message "You are the Beloved."  That we belong to Someone very special indeed.  And, it's his voice we should listen to above all others.   

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How Meditation Increases Grey Matter in the Brain

How Meditation Increases Grey Matter in the Brain

When I was growing up (which was not that long ago) we were taught that once your brain was done growing it couldn't really grow anymore.  Now we know that's not actually true.  

Neuroplasticity.  That's the fancy word for "your brain can grow and change."

A really cool discovery is that mindfulness-meditation can grow and change your brain.  And not only that, it can grow and change your brain in some pretty important ways.

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