A Book to Help Guide Your Teen's Life Online

Navigating the cultural divide between digital natives (born post 1980) and digital immigrants (born pre-1980) can be a challenge for parents.  I hear questions like:  

"How do I help my kid enjoy their life online but at the same time equip them to be safe?"

"How restrictive should I be or how much should I monitor my kids online behavior?"

"Is it too late to even try to change things now that my kid is in high school?"

In their book A Parent's Guide to Understanding Social Media, Adam and Mark approach these questions with compassion, wisdom and experience.  They give great practical tips which they have used themselves.  

The other thing I like about this book is that it can be read in about 2 hours.  Parents have so many things on their minds that having concise material is helpful.

The one main critique I have is that they don't address in enough detail what to do if your child has a porn or sexting problem.  So, while their recommendations are generally useful I would recommend consulting with a professional if there are chronic boundary violations.  A teen with chronic sexting or porn issues may be addicted.  And, if they are addicted finding the right combination between grace and truth; monitoring and equipping is crucial.

Are there people who would be helped by this article?  Feel free to share it.  If this article has helped you let me know by "liking" it.           

Alex Lerza

My goal as a therapist, speaker and writer is to help people experience the gift of sexual and relational wholeness. Currently I work at Christian Counseling Center in San Jose as a Marriage Family Therapist, Intern. Though I come from a place of faith I have treated clients from all creeds and orientations. I completed my Master's degree from Santa Clara University in 2012. Because I felt called to the area of sexual wholeness I became an Associate Sex Addiction Therapist in 2013. However, I quickly learned that trauma is the cause for a significant amount of sexual and relational brokenness so I also became certified in two trauma-reduction therapies--Affect Management Skills Training and Affect Centered Therapy (similar to EMDR). PSYCHOTHERAPIST. Trauma and Sexual Addiction. One of my passions is to help people break free from sexual addiction and heal from trauma. With hundreds of hours of training in trauma and sexual addiction, I provide clients a clear path out of addiction so that they may enjoy healthier relationships and lead more focused lives. Couples. I love helping couples discover the gift of a healthy marriage. I excel at teaching couples how to communicate, how to heal from betrayal and how to deepen their level of passion and intimacy. Teens. Being a teen is tough. I enjoy helping teens who struggle to connect with peers, have questions about identity or want to kick a pornography addiction. I also run a 10 week program for teen guys looking for a band of brothers and accountability with sexual compulsivity. Individuals. I believe that everyone has something to offer the world that no one else can. I hate to see depression or anxiety limit a person's ability to make their special offering come alive. I offer clients the compassion, tools and strategies they need to make their mark and fulfill their personal vision.

Life of the Beloved

Life of the Beloved

Life of the Beloved is probably my favorite book when it comes to recovery and healing.  Most of us who feel broken do so because at the root of our soul is a feeling that we don't belong.  Betrayal, neglect and all forms of abuse embed in our hearts and whisper the message "you are worthless."  It's this bitter root that drains life and which so many try to numb with any and all possible means--sex, food, drugs, power.  

But, we can be creatively life-giving as much as we are creatively life-destroying.  

Nouwen convinces us that deeper than the bitter root is the message "You are the Beloved."  That we belong to Someone very special indeed.  And, it's his voice we should listen to above all others.   

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Masturbation: Is it Healthy?

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So, is masturbation ok?  Can it be healthy?  

Some of you may be wondering why I am even asking the question because you are thinking the answer is "NO!".  And, some of you may be wondering because you think "OF COURSE!" 

It depends.  It depends.  It depends.  

It depends if you are in recovery from sexual addiction.  It depends on your spouses' opinion.  It depends upon your spiritual view regarding lust--unless you masturbate without fantasy, in which case I say...bravo?       

Here are three questions that can help you reflect on it more deeply:

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