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Communication.  "S/he just doesn't get it!"  If communication has broken down between you and your partner don't be surprised.  Many of the couples I see struggle to understand one another and find themselves in unproductive and draining arguments.  In couple's counseling you will learn simple and effective ways to communicate.  You will also learn your particular Love Style and also your partner's Love Style.  By discovering your Love Styles you will learn how to connect on a deeper level.   

Restoration from Betrayal and Affairs.  "I can't believe this happened to me."  Betrayal from an affair can be one of the most heart-wrenching and disorienting experiences for a partner or spouse.  There is a way to heal.  Maybe you are not even sure you want to.  Wherever you and your partner may be I can offer a compassionate presence and a way forward.  

Passion.  "When did we lose touch?"  The Silicon Valley is the place of a million opportunities.  Status alerts, the demands of raising kids, keeping up with the never-ending innovation--all these can erode the connection with your spouse.  You end up as room-mates when you started as soul-mates.  In couples counseling you will learn the art of creative lovemaking and become fluent in one another's love languages.  You will also learn how to say "no" to other demands so you can say "yes" to each other.  


Marriage Health Assessment

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  1. Responsibility for Personal Needs. Do both partner’s recognize that they are ultimately responsible for meeting their own needs?  And, that it is their responsibility to share their needs with their partner?
  2. Respectful Communication. Is there open and honest communication?
  3. Do you set aside at least 20 minutes each day to check-in so disappointments don't build into resentments?
  4. Relationship is a Priority. Do both partners continue to nourish the relationship by practicing the 5 love languages?
  5. Do you set aside time for dates every week?
  6. Realistic Expectations. Do both partners see each other as whole people, with strengths and flaws?
  7. Do you love each other in spite of your weaknesses?
  8. Empathy. Are both partners able to see things from the other's perspective?
  9. Constructive Conflict. Is conflict dealt with in an open and respectful way, so that it strengthens the relationship rather than creates more distance?
  10. Does it feel safe to approach your partner when you are hurt by their actions?
  11. Intimacy (sexual and non-sexual) Are there are expressions of verbal and physical tenderness, caring, and concern?
  12. Is sexual intimacy respectful, unique to each individual and takes into consideration the needs and desires of both partners?
  13. Financial Responsibility. Do both partners share the decision-making about finances and come to an agreement on how to handle finances that feels good for both?
  14. Flexibility. Do both partners accept that change is unavoidable?
  15. Are you both proactive, flexible and solution oriented?
  16. Sense of Humor.  Are you both able to use humor to enjoy life and to deal with the minor unsolvable differences in your relationship?
  17. Shared Responsibilities. Are you both willing to share responsibilities and work together as a team to accomplish daily tasks as well as work toward your goals?
  18. Alliance of Two Adults. Do you see each other as equals and behave as two mature adults, rather than behaving either childishly or domineeringly?
  19. Individuality. Does each partner have a sense of his or her own identity?
  20. Are you able to be spend time away from one another without suspicion, neediness or jealousy?

If you answered "no" to 2 or more questions couples counseling is recommended.  Let's connect!