A lot of people ask me about masturbation in their quest for a healthy sexuality. The answer that people hate to hear and that I often give is "it depends." "It depends" means there needs to be some self-examination as to what role masturbation is playing in your life. Most things in life are harmless but almost anything we do can become harmful. Next week I will offer some of my thoughts and questions for you to reflect on. This week I leave you with a quote from C.S. Lewis.
For those in the beginning of recovery from sex addiction, compulsive masturbation may not be your battlefield. And if that's where you are, you can replace the word "masturbation" with whatever is in your inner circle or part of your bottom line behaviors.
In a letter to one of his close friends, C.S. Lewis (author of the Chronicles of Narnia) says this about masturbation (bold emphasis mine):
“For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete (and correct) his own personality in that of another (and finally in children and even grandchildren) and turns it back; sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides.
And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman.
For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no woman can rival.
Among those shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect lover; no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity.
In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself…After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of our selves, out of the little dark prison we are all born in. Masturbation is to be avoided as all things are to be avoided which retard this process. The danger is that of coming to love the prison.”
Tune in next week for more on masturbation.
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