My goal as a therapist, speaker and writer is to help people experience the gift of sexual and relational wholeness. Healthy relationships are key to the good life and I have helped hundreds of people unlock the mystery of intimacy and connection. Currently I work in Los Gatos, CA though I also do online sessions. Prior to working as a therapist I spent 6 years as a college pastor at Stanford University, San Jose State University and Santa Clara University. Though I come from a place of faith I have treated clients from all creeds and walks of life. Because I feel called to the area of sexual wholeness I became an Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. I also became certified in two trauma-reduction therapies--Affect Management Skills Training and Affect Centered Therapy (like EMDR).
Trauma and Sexual Addiction. One of my passions is to help people break free from sexual addiction and heal from trauma. With hundreds of hours of training in trauma and sexual addiction, I provide clients a clear path out of addiction so that they may enjoy healthier relationships and lead more focused lives.
Couples. I love helping couples discover the gift of a healthy marriage. I excel at teaching couples how to communicate, how to heal from betrayal and how to deepen their level of passion and intimacy.
Teens. Being a teen is tough. I enjoy helping teens who struggle to connect with peers, have questions about identity or want to kick a pornography addiction. I also run a 10 week program for teen guys looking for a band of brothers and accountability with sexual compulsivity.
Individuals. I believe that everyone has something to offer the world that no one else can. I hate to see depression or anxiety limit a person's ability to make their special offering come alive. I offer clients the compassion, tools and strategies they need to make their mark and fulfill their personal vision.
Approach/Style. My view of therapy is inspired by how Michelangelo approached sculpting - "I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." Michelangelo focused on what could be and used his tools to carve until the marble had reached its full potential. Similarly, therapy is about establishing a clear vision for what you want and receiving tools to carve out that vision in your life. To help establish the vision I will ask questions like "If you woke up tomorrow and you had achieved your vision for your marriage, what would be different in how you communicated or how you had sex?" Or, "What would tell you therapy is working for you?" "How would you know that you have healed from trauma?" The vision could be a new level of intimacy in a marriage or the ability to live an addiction free life. Perhaps you are not sure what you want. Sometimes therapy is about discovering who you are and what really matters to you.
Once a vision is established the carving must be done. This is the second part of therapy, often called the "working phase." Having the proper tools and techniques is critical to carving out the vision you want for your life or relationship. I provide clients with scientifically validated tools and methods that are easy to use. With a gentle yet direct approach, we will carve together until your vision is complete.
Alex is available to speak on the issues of Sexual Addiction and the Brain, Pornography and the Adolescent Brain, Internet Safety at Home and Understanding Teens and Social Media.
Alex has written a curriculum specifically designed to help teens overcome pornography addiction. It is a 10 week program that includes a workbook, group and individual meetings. Also included is a parent seminar that will help parents know how to support their teen's recovery.
Memberships, Credentials and Certifications
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist - 83946
Associate Sex Addiction Therapist
Trauma Certifications: Affect Management Systems Theory, Affect Centered Therapy (similar to EMDR)
Member - International Institute of Addiction and Trauma Professionals
Member - California Association fo Marriage and Family Therapists